While in the bathroom, I suddenly hear screams and chaos. I hurry out of the bathroom to the sounds erupting into the morning, only to run into two angry boys, ready to defend their cause. One forgetting he has a brother with special needs, and the other in a special needs shut-down. With Mama Bear swiftness, I stand before them, insisting on order and peace.
I must at moments like these, bridge the gap for them of two different worlds: special needs and normal. Yet, they are just boys; two different worlds who must live under the same roof. But, the conflicts are the same with the rest of the world, only more divided.
We all live it as special needs parents. There are expectations of each world that conflict. Yet, both must be brought together in peace. Add our faith as Christians, in the mix of that, and you do have one big mess at times!
Love is messy!
People get aggravated, annoyed, and yet, still love each other. As in the case of boys, well, they may get a bit too rowdy, but there is brotherly love. Yet, they have to learn to work through conflicts, and settle disputes among themselves, without the wildness. As parents we know that this is just part of growing up.
But, with special needs, it is not always so easy to reconcile in the world. There is autism and genetically induced mental illness. There are physical and medical disabilities. Why does the Lord allow this to happen? I don't know. Perhaps to bridge the medical community into the equation? To help us find our faith? We can only trust the Lord's purposes, because He is, after all, the Creator.
What I do know is that we are all interconnected. We cannot just walk away from each other.
Diving in deep with the Holy Spirit is the only way.
Unfortunately, not everyone dives in that deep.
Most of us know that love only comes with honesty. People can dip their toe in, or tread water, but they will never truly love, because they hate their own reflection. They have yet to receive the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ, who brings the gift of true salvation. So it is with those who refuse to accept us as we are. They think they have the right to falsely judge and accuse special needs people, because they are struggling with their own hearts. And they refuse to accept or help.
But, both worlds must co-exist.
Truly. In order for peace to occur between the special and normal worlds. The normal world must give in to the reality that special is just that--special. They need the help of those who are "normal" and need them to rise above their living only for their own needs. Special needs people cannot change who God created them to be, to accommodate the normal world's ideas of how life should be.
Likewise, special needs people must forgive the self-centeredness of the normal world, that fails to accommodate their very real needs, and inability to be normal all, or most, of the time. They must try to reach out in love and kindness, even when the normal world harshly begrudges their needs. Some special needs individuals, who understand enough, will have to learn to accept that the normal world just does not understand their needs.
It all comes down to love.
Yes, this is a tall order.
But, we MUST bridge these two worlds as parents and advocates, and we need others from the normal world to help us bridge them as well. It is our reality, and our daily challenge to find this kind of support. Yes, it is messy on the surface, but God will make the way straight, no matter what the circumstances are.
We must be the hands and feet of Jesus Christ; this is true love, and it IS messy! To serve in the way that God calls you to. We DON'T have to completely lay ourselves down to be trampled and martyred.
Prayer, and trusting in the Holy Spirit's leading of us, is our only hope to find His will!
Jesus already paid the price!
The blessings of Jesus Christ to you~Kim